stage 5 clinger

facebook status
If you’re friends with me on Facebook, you might have seen this post that I shared earlier this week.

There I was, enjoying my last free time before work, just reading a novel and feeling the sunshine on my face.

Since classes hadn’t started yet, campus was mostly dead.  Throughout the hour and a half I spent on the lawn, I saw only a handful of people walking around.

So, when I looked up to see a guy standing directly over me, clearly trying to get my attention, I was slightly startled.

He explained (as I noted in the Facebook status) that he had walked by earlier and noticed me reading on the lawn.  He thought I was “absolutely adorable” and knew he had to come back and tell me or he’d regret it forever.  To say I was flattered is an understatement.

The thing is, I can appreciate a bold gesture, and that’s what this was.  It took a lot of courage to walk over to me and strike up that conversation, so of course I was friendly and warm.  Then I made a mistake.  He asked for my phone number–and I gave it to him.

We wrapped up the conversation (well, I wrapped it up, he asked me what I was doing that night…and the next day) and he left me to my book.  Ten minutes later, he texted how nice it was to meet me and reminded me how “adorable” I looked.  I responded politely but didn’t try to have a conversation or anything.

Later that day, as I worked at Adam’s, my phone must’ve been buzzing like crazy in the car where I left it, because when I got back he had texted not once, not twice, but three times.  He was trying to make plans with me for a coffee date for that night or the next day (even though earlier when he’d asked, I’d told him I had to work).

I didn’t respond to his three text messages because, frankly, I was a little overwhelmed and it was super late at night.

The next day, I woke up to a message alert on my phone around 8:30 a.m.  I looked at it, and to my horror, I saw “Good Morning :-)” on the screen from his number.  No.  No.  Nooooo.

After his triple-text shenanigans the night before, followed by a boyfriend-style good morning text, I knew I had to cut this one loose as he was a Stage 5 Clinger.

Needless to say, I did not reply to his text message.  Let’s review–he’s now sent me FOUR messages, none of which I’ve responded to.  I realize I am mean and heartless and cold and all that…but this guy is weird.

Flash forward to Tuesday morning.  “Good morning :-)” appears on my phone yet again.  You’ve got to be kidding me.  I don’t respond.

Wednesday.  Hump day.  “Very good morning ;-)” lights up my phone as I walk to class.  Oh no.  He’s added an adverb and changed the colon to a semi-colon, thus making the smiley face a winky face.  Not good at all.

I responded to this one.  As nicely as possible, but still quite firm, I said, “Good morning!  Listen, I don’t think I’m looking to get involved with you right now, but I appreciate your interest.” My inspiration for this text was as though I was sending a rejection letter after a job interview.  What can I say?  I needed him to get it.  At long last, he didn’t respond and the sun has risen the last two days without his greetings.  Sweet, sweet relief.

There are two takeaways from this story.  First, don’t give your number to a guy who calls you adorable–twice.  Second, don’t send “good morning” texts to someone you just met.  It may be friendly in intention, but it’s creepy in execution.

I’m flattered by his interest, but I’m so happy I ditched this clinger before he had the chance to propose on our first date and tell me how many kids he wants.

Single girl, out.