happy friends for a happy life

I mentioned in my last post that over the last year, I discovered who I want in my corner – people who build me up, make me smile when I see their name pop up on my phone, encourage me and support me…that is, the people who make me happy.

These are people like a former boss, a mentor in West Virginia, a really amazing guy in Utah, my grandparents…the list goes on.  Well, it doesn’t go on too much.  That would defeat the point, which is this: working more than 40 hours a week while trying to focus on overall wellness (including prioritizing healthy sleep, eating and exercise habits) makes it hard to keep up with the hundreds of friends I made in college.

While I do thrive in having a large network and keeping in some sort of continued contact with about 100 folks (whether by snail mail, Facebook, text messages or phone calls), that’s not sustainable in everyday life.  The person I call to seek advice on a problem at work, the person I call when I’m walking from my car late at night…those are my people. The ones who make me happiest and the ones I should, therefore, invest the most in.

I’ve always had such a hard time letting friendships and relationships go.  I felt like a failure when in reality, two people just simply grew apart (usually for good reason).

I now know that having peace with letting people go is not admitting defeat or failure.  It’s not saying I don’t care about them or their happiness; it’s just realizing that our relationship might no longer be a part of their (or my) happiness equation.

One of my other goals for 2015 was to be debt-free, and that became a reality today.  Now, I think I’ll call one of my people – my happy friends for a happy life – to share the good news.

happiness is a choice

“If you want to be happy, be.”  -Leo Tolstoy

I have this quote painted in my bedroom.  I believe that happiness is a choice, and it’s one that I try to make daily.

This week has been pretty up and down for me.  I’ve dealt with some stuff that left me bummed out.  But before I allowed myself to wallow too deep into self pity, I had a moment of total clarity.  Life is too short to choose anything other than happiness.

I have fresh flowers on my dining room table.  I’m wearing a dress that I love.  I took the time to do my hair and makeup this morning.  I did an anonymous act of kindness last night.  I got a compliment from a stranger earlier.  I paid three more forward.  I woke up early and enjoyed an hour on my front steps, reading my book, enjoying the cool morning air and this song.  I ran into friendly faces all over campus today.  My nails are painted.  I’m burning my favorite candle.

I have every reason to be happy.  When I am so myopic that I can only see the few negative things affecting me, I miss out on recognizing the 100 other wonderful things that happen to me on a daily basis.  So today, and moving forward, I’m choosing happiness.  I hope you’ll choose it with me.

PS- This song feels like my day.  To be clear, I’m not a large black man singing about the United Streets of America.  I am, however, having a good day!